Obsessive Compulsive....
Definitely not a disorder.... i think... I dunno... Somethings that irks me still does... Horribly!!!! Even after like a gazillion time!!!
Things like needing to climb over another person in the bus... seriously... it doesn't take much to just stand up and let me in... or to let me out... or why can't the other person just slide in and let me seat by the aisle if his or her ass is stuck on the seat? I just had an urge to actually stamp on their feet when i squeeze in... or just... ~giggles... :P ~
The other is using handphone while driving!!! Sms-ing, surfing... talking... haiyo... what la is so important that you risk your own life and the life of others? I hated it when he does it when we were together... and now that we are no longer together I still hate it when he does it... I just feel like grabbing his bloody phone and throwing it out of the window!
And not getting how anxious I am about things... I am like Monica from Friends when something is not in order... Except I suffer though the same anxiety when it comes to my stuff... I cannot sleep if I know that I accidentally left something behind even though theorectically, it is safe and sound... I fidget continuously like someone who is in desperate need to go to the bathroom if there is something that I just can't remember... like a name of a song or a title of a book... and yeah... I am hard to placate unless I got whatever it is back else i will just be restless and hot tempered...
So yeah... those little little things that I obsessed and loses sleep over... Kinda make me feel like I am physchotic or something... Like I always need to sit by the window... or that I always uses the middle or the last toilet in my office and never others unless it is occupied... or arranging my clothes when I hang them out to dry in the order of sizes... long ones to short ones...
Mild case of OCD? Maybe... Trying too hard to control my own life... Yeap... Totally...
Haih... I am more accepting these days... I tried to be... I have stopped giving people the "Are you a moron look?"... Tried to laugh and smile more... Try to not lose my temper all that much... But still taking too much effort... It doesn't drain me as much as it used to... but still hard at times... too hard...
Gonna get myself an ice cream or a chocolate cookie... Nothing like some good old comfort food to make the world sunshine lollipop and rainbow again right?
Yeap that and laughter... Lots and lots of laughter... :D And kimmie has reason to smile... not laugh... just smile... a small little smile that she permits herself once in a while when she thinks of little little itsy bitsy stuff... non important in other people's eyes... but just enough to make me smile...
Is it really that hard? Yeap... Everything is hard... nothing comes simple wrapped in ribbons... presented on a silver platter... But if the last thing i think of each night before i close my eyes to sleep is that next day when I wake up I get to do the exact same thing again and it doesn't depresses me or makes me sad, then it is totally worth it isn't it?
Yeap... Kimmie thinks some things are finally falling into place... Now if she will just stop feeling like breaking some toes... then the world would really be sunshine lollipop and rainbow...
